In an age of pervasive social media and radical transparency, where motivations are always suspect and facts seem to collide, being a persuasive person in our work lives or in our personal lives is not about persuading others to do something they don't want to do. Genuine persuasion today is about engaging rather than insisting; developing the habits that will allow you to listen to others; communicating your goals, values, and reasoning honestly; and winning them over to your point of view by understanding their needs. To be persuasive today, Jason Harris says, you need to put your true self forward and stay true to your values. It is not about going for the quick sell or closing.
Among the eleven habits of a truly persuasive person, Harris says, are the importance of listening fully; developing a natural curiosity about other people; being attentive and keeping promises; and practicing positivity--in other words, being the kind of person that others always want around. It is about being generous and trying to give people something in every interaction, from a compliment to a recommendation, from a piece of advice to an actual gift. It is about respecting other people's values and motivations, and sharing the stage. It is about collaboration rather than winning. It is about personal excellence and aiming for a higher good.