Abstract It is a life story about me, a Truku aboriginal social worker self-searching journey. I engaged in an aboriginal social work for ten years and long-term in a state of contradictions and confusion. I experienced the more the pursuit of social work professional, the more self-lost conflict I got, and felt my own life is tangled in a major loss. Therefore, I decided to set foot on the road of self-searching and hope to get an inner balance. Through the narrative research, I realized why I wanted to give up my loving helper work, and gradually lose the enthusiasm. Therefore, I hold the courage which Truku ancestors give it to me, with a brave to depths of heart to face the loss in my life. I figured out that the legacies of colonial history influence my families and our people deeply and we all lost ourselves. I also saw the inadequacy in my life, when I getting closer and closer to myself and saw the past , I found the way to restore power of my life. This research also adopted method of autoethnography. Every family member, including myself and tribal elders, share their own story to enrich research data and this is my first time to connect my cultural history, knowledge, land, and ancestor. It makes me feel exciting. During the study, I am not only found myself and understand why I would feel contradiction and confusion, but also discovered the cultural significance meanings and its resilience. The aims of self-searching journey are to repair my broken life, clarify my inner contradiction and confusion. I discovered that the mainstream disregarded Taiwanese indigenous, so I expect that social work profession can respect indigenous culture and emphasize the core value of social justice. According to these discussions, I already found my future position and responsibility2.